Unfounded

Today was a good day. The whole thing that has been happening at work has been resolved.  The case has closed and it was inconclusive. Unfounded. DUH. Of course it was going to be.  However that meant that I was able to go back to work...but I was kinda skeptical of going back.  So I went and talked to T this afternoon and expressed my concerns: Who knew about it? Were people talking? Would it be held against me or over my head when I went to get promoted for something? T had told me that as far as she knew, no one was talking about it, no one knew, and it most definitely would not be used against me. She made sure to tell me not to be embarrassed and that they still thought highly of me. She also made sure to tell me that she knows that I would never do that and that the person who documented against me?...well, she doesn't trust her and she has a hard time believing anything she wrote about what supposedly happened. How the heck did I get so lucky to have such amazing people in my life? Seriously. Unreal. 

While I was there T told me about an opening for an administrative assistant. I'm SO qualifed for it and expressed my interest in it. I'm going to go do my skills testing tomorrow. PLEASE think positive thoughts that I get this job. It would be just what I needed right now and I would get paid more. Positive thoughts...

I am so in love with my dogs. I got a new fancy camera and that's all I have done the past couple of days.  With all my other animals I felt after they were gone that I never had enough pictures of them.  Not this time. I'm gonna be THAT doggie mama that has way too many.  Except I don't think you can have too many pictures of your family.  That said...here are a few:

She loves sticks!

Happy Prinny

Sleepy Prinny

Puppy!

I haven't blogged in a while -- going through massive stress. Ugh. So far nothing has come from it and I haven't heard anything. Still. I will go to my grave that I did not do anything wrong and I most certainly did not do what I was accused of.  It makes me sick to think that someone would think I could do that. Anyway....

Princess is still doing fantastic. She is seriously the best dog ever and I still thank God that she came to us. She was clearly meant to be ours. She makes me laugh even when I don't want to. Here she is being fantastic. Note: the ear hair. :)

We got a puppy today!  This morning actually.  She is three months old, black cocker spaniel who still has her tail!, and we named her Daphne Sue. We kept "Sue" in her name after Maddie Sue. We call her Daffy for short. She's fantastic and a beast. I've never experienced the puppy adventure before and which is why I'm up blogging at 3:30am. We got her from the Humane Society; she came in as a stray.  Someone had a hold on her yesterday and they never came. Crazy. So Rob and I went this morning right when they opened.  We visited with her and she picked me.  She came right to me, licked me, and sat in my lap.  That was it. She was coming home with us.

                                            Daphne Sue's first day home with us!         

                                

                                              This is her walking...it shows her tail!

She's enjoying an elk antler right now. Prinny (Princess' name) is in the bedroom with Rob. And I'm exhausted already. But it's sooooo worth it. I'll get a video of her up and going as soon as I figure out how.

On a side note, I started reading Harry Potter and I LOVE IT. I just started the 3rd book. I'm pretty excited about it. :)

Anyway, I need to go tire out this poochie otherwise I'll be up all night. Yikers...

Christmas Tree?

As I am writing this, G and R are setting up their tree. I'm slightly detached from what is currently going on. Why? Well, let me tell you. It's all of THEIR stuff. I have none of mine here and it's his house. Yes, we are back to this. Perhaps I'm being overly emotional about this, but I'm annoyed. Even more so because they won't even be here for Christmas.

Bottom line? Christmas will never be easy for me. It never gets easier without my dad here. I want to do all the traditions that we used to do with him. Like on Christmas Eve we would go to church for the night service, on the drive home we would go very slowly throughout the neighborhood looking at all the Christmas lights.  Then when we got home my dad would read all the Christmas stories to us while we ate cookies. I miss him so much.  Not a minute goes by where I don't think about him and how much I miss him.  I know he's looking down at me and with me in spirit, but it's truly not the same. I slightly dread Christmas. Yeah, I said it.

On a side note to JHRME: I've had "nightmares" before too. They are awful. Mine usually consist of being so real that I wake up thinking he's still around. It's horrible. Luckily, they don't happen too often, but I know what you feel like.

Cure

I found the best cure for me to start feeling better and to stop dying: Walk three miles, going to see Joshua Radin in Denver, and getting a new doggy.  The week of Thanksgiving I felt a lot better. Even now I feel back to myself. I hope it stays like this for a while, at least.

Here is Joshua Radin, Rena, me, and Amy. We met him, he signed a shirt and a CD, and I hugged him. Hee hee.

Thanksgiving was fantastic. Rob, the doggy, and I went up to Denver to spend time with my family. It was my first holiday with no meat and I can honestly say that I didn't miss it. Yay! I'm quite proud of myself.  Next challenge: Christmas.

I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately.  I mean, I always think about him but it's been more lately.  Stupid holidays. I found a t-shirt of mine last time I was at the parents that was from the 1995 Women's Open at the Broadmoor that my papa (dad) took me too. I'm determined to go to the one this year and get another shirt.  It made me so happy and then I remembered him taking me. That was our thing that we used to do; go to golf tournaments and eat lemonade shaved ice. I wish he was here to take me this year.

Anyways, I just wanted to check in. I'm alive, finally. :)

Princess

The last few weeks, my body has been hating me. I somehow got some weird bacterial infection in my throat - which at first was thought to be strep throat. Ha, just kidding because the amoxicillin did not work. At all. I seriously thought I was dying. I went to the urgent care/doctor three times in 5 days. The first one resulted strep throat, supposedly. The second visit resulted in getting a steroid shot which would wear off in 72 hours, and the third trip to the doctor resulted in blood being taken, new medicine, as well as a mono test, and being told that she was 90% that it was mono but would send it off to get it cultured just to make sure. The result in all this? I've lost quite a bit of pounds, which is nice, but it's really not the smart thing to do. Oh, and me missing tons of work.  Yesterday I went to work, somehow made it through it although I cried hysterically in the morning because I couldn't find the belt. And I had no energy.  Today I went to work and sobbed and was running a fever, so I went home. I feel horrible about missing work, but I feel like I can't really do my job when it takes energy to stand up. Hopefully I'll get some rest this weekend and next week will be better.

I'm supposed to be walking for St. Jude's tomorrow with some ladies from, um, Deathrose. (I told Melissa I would do it with her before I quit). I raised enough money to reach my goal of $250, thanks to my parents, and my brother.  Let's talk about how the only person who doesn't work there (me) raised the most money. That's right. Interesting. However, I think I'm gonna go just to cheer them on since there is no way that I can walk that far. I mean, seriously, I get winded just getting up and going to the bathroom. I'm way bummed to, but I feel like I did my part already by raising money.

On a much happier note, we got another doggy! Today. From the Humane Society.  Last night I got an e-mail from the Humane Society in Boulder Valley, so I checked out the dogs. There are puppies in Castle Rock that I would really like to see.  However, there was also a dog that Rob fell in love with on the computer. Up until last night, he refused and told me he was not ready for another dog. I tried to be patient, but when it came to looking at the dog he wanted, I made her talk.  So we went and looked at her today.  Her name is Princess, we might try to ease in another name, cause well that name is just, blah. But she has gotten used to it so we'll see. She has been surrendered at the Humane Society three times since June. The first family didn't want to go through the trouble of spaying her (WHAT!?!?!), the second family's landlord wouldn't let them keep a dog, and the third family was an older couple that couldn't keep up with her activeness. She definitely needed a forever home and that's what we are. She is about two years old and is a buff cocker spaniel. She does amazing with dogs and children. She is already microchipped, which is good since apparently she likes to dart out the door. She pulls on the leash, but that's really the only downfall so far and can be easily fixed. When we got her home we realized that she knows basic commands, comes to her name, is house broken, and crate trained, AND she knows how to play fetch. Amazing.

So here she is: she is sleeping right now...she must be exhausted, but isn't she adorable?!

Thrasher

It's amazing that I am writing about this again. For the second time. Within 10 days.  Not only did we just have to say goodbye to Maddie Sue on October 20th, but today, October 29th, we had to say goodbye to Thrasher.  Thrasher was a much a harder decision and such a different situation than Maddie. 

He was fine all morning; he ate all his food and played with his tug.  Around 2:00pm he came in the kitchen where Rob and I were and threw up. He continued to shake uncontrollably, and once again, I was the one that pushed to take him to the vet. We knew he didn't get into anything because for most of the day he was with one of us.  We took him to the vet and they ran tests on him.  They took x-rays of his chest and abdominal and they noticed that he had gas or liquid outside of the intestine. Not normal. This was due to an organ leaking or it rupturing.  He was only going to progressively get worse.  As much as it hurt, when the doctor said that I knew what was going to happen. However, he is technically not my dog...so it was a lot of waiting.  Two things he did that I knew it was the right decision...well, for one, he pooped everywhere. They gave him some pain medicine (which helped for about 2 hours) and he got up, walked around, pooped, walked through the exam rooms, and pooped some more.  Another thing he did that solidified it for me was that the three of us took him for a "walk" before we let him go, he walked in the grass, and laid down.  That's when I knew 100% sure that it was the right thing to do. 

I don't feel as much as the world is crashing in on me with the decision we made with Thrasher as I did with Maddie.  I knew I was helping him by not letting him be in pain anymore and with Maddie I felt kind of selfish that I didn't take her in soon enough because I wasn't ready to deal with it or be alone with it.  Whenever I get sad about it, I keep thinking about how when that gate opened to let Thrashy through, I know Maddie was there waiting to pounce on him, just like she did when he came out of the kennel.  I know they are up there frolicking around with my Papa (dad) and all my other animals.

They were both amazing dogs and I love them so much.  I don't like being in a house where there are no dogs.  I don't like the feeling at all.  We are going to do Thrasher's list of things he did tomorrow. So here they are, my cocker spaniel angels:

R.I.P. Maddie, October 20, 2010 and Thrasher, October 29, 2010.  Give everyone lots of licks for me and come and visit often!

Closer

I'm pretty glad that this week is on its way to being farther away in my memory.  I started my new job which has its own challenges in it; getting to know a whole new set of kids, parents, staff, and a boss.  The room I am in is a little more difficult since it is a Head Start room.  The bonus is that there should usually be three teachers in there at all times.  That's right. Three.  I am guaranteed 40 hours each week.  Even when we are ridiculously low in ratio, I will stay until my shift is done.  Anything over 40 hours is overtime and they will actually pay me for my time. Amazing.

I quickly learned how amazing my new boss is. Wednesday when I had the whole Maddie Sue fiasco, I had to call in. On my third day of work.  Although it was an emergency to me, I didn't know how it would look for others.  I called the secretary (who I can't even remember her name since it's my first week) and cried uncontrollably letting her know about my dog and to have my boss call me back.  She eventually did call me back and although she told me that things were crazy at work, she would come over and be with me so I wouldn't have to be alone. Amazing. The next day she gave me hugs and talked to me about how she understands that animals aren't just pets, they are more like people.

I keep dreaming about Maddie Sue...I see her every where. I still do that with Ernie whenever I go to the parents house.  I expect Ernie to be at the top of the stairs waiting for me and now when I get home and I'm in the kitchen, I expect Maddie Sue to be there too.  Prior to her crossing the rainbow bridge, I felt as though as a whole in me and Rob's relationship. That we weren't close and we were pushing each other away.  Every since dealing with this, we have grown closer and have leaned back on each other. It's a wonderful feeling.

Today we took Thrashy to the dog park. He definitely liked sniffing those butts! I just got done ordering my Needle Master Needle System through Hobby Lobby. I used a 40% off coupon and got it for $43. AND I'm extremely excited about it. Now if only I had a knitting partner to go to the tea shop with me. ;)